I cannot say I like cooking for myself the same as I did with my ex partner, I like it in a different way. And this is not code for, “it actually really sucks”. No. I really really like it, but in a different way. I think I like it the way I should like something when I am alone. Whereas before it was all about the sharing, now it’s more about the ingredients, the actual cooking style, producing a gorgelicious result. You could say it’s more about the ritual of preparing the meal, and that I really love.
In addition to that, there is another element that is very different. Me. In a couple’s setting you are still there of course, but in a different form, you play a different role. In this setting, you are the guest, but you are also the host. So perhaps it’s a good idea to begin the evening as such.
As a host, you want to please. In this case you want to please yourself -the guest- by making precisely the meal you want to rave about. It can be an old time favorite, or maybe you want to explore a completely new avenue.
Whatever you choose, the ingredients are next. These will be the “everything” that will make up what you are going to serve yourself later tonight. Put some love into it, slice that meat and cut those vegetables with radiant positive energy, infuse into them what you want that meal to do to you later.
Even if you don’t get the flavors just right, you can always taste the energy and the vibe with which a meal was cooked.
At this point…you wouldn’t be blamed for thinking in the direction of…“Uhmm yeah, the cooking part I get, but what about later? How about eating that lovely dinner all by yourself?” To which I would respond… “Is this your article or mine?”
But it’s still a good question, so I’ll answer it.
I think it all depends which approach you take to the dinner in question. You have the following options:
- You can sit down and you can fantasize about how wonderful it would be to share this dinner with Bob/Mary/Bary and remind yourself with every bite that they are not there anymore, that you are all alone in this world, and that every single morsel of flavor you will savor during this meal will taste of bitter solitude
- You can anesthetize yourself by scooting down in front of the TV and let it do the thinking for you while you shovel stuff from the plate to the mouth
- You can close your eyes, take a huge and deep breath, don’t open your eyes until they are glowing, once they do, open up, stretch your arms and your legs, walk to your audio device, put on the perfect music, take the nice plates and cutlery, set a wonderful looking table, maybe even light a few candles, open the right bottle of wine, proceed to your chair, and as you are sitting in front of this marvelous plate of steaming goodness, you rejoice and prepare to eat this wonderful meal you have cooked for yourself.
Take a minute.
Have a sip of wine.
Say “thank you”, and dig in.
If you chose A that’s ok. There’s no shame in that. You wouldn’t be human if you haven’t gone for A at some point in your life. Sometimes it’s just part of the process. I once cried over a pasta carbonara that came out so bad, the tears actually made it taste better.
If you chose B , well…you’ve joined the exclusive club of a select 6 billion members. And you know what they say, 6 billion people can’t be wrong. And there is certainly some element of reason to it. You don’t have to “feel” and experience everything to the core all the time. Sometimes you need to take a vacation from “feel”. Sometimes you just want to chill and be entertained while having a nice plate of food.
C is obviously not something you are going to do every day, but when you do it, and you do it with the right energy, you can transform it into a truly memorable evening. I don’t know if this is as true with everyone else as it is with me, but I am wrapped from head to toe on “love goes through the stomach” tape.
My C evenings are boss.
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