1. After a first date – You want to end it politely.

I would like to thank you for our date last night.  I had a very nice evening in your company.  As much fun as it was though, I don’t feel there was enough substance between us for us to pursue this further.  I think you are a great person, you are funny, smart, and very attractive so I’m sure you will find your match in no time.  

  1. After a first date – You want to end it because your date was rude, mean, or tactless.

After our date last night, I wanted to let you know that your behavior was inappropriate and unacceptable.  We clearly don’t have the same set of values, morals or education. Please do not text me or contact me again. 

  1. After a first date – You want to end it because you didn’t feel the “spark”.

Thank you for a very nice evening, I enjoyed our conversation.  Unfortunately, I didn’t feel the “spark” that I was looking for, and I think you didn’t find it in me either.  Which means we are still uber awesome people, just not a match for each other.   I want to wish you the best with your future dating endeavors, I’m sure the right one for you will soon cross your path. 

  1. After a first date – You want to end it because your date got too drunk.

I don’t know what your understanding of a date is exactly, but in my world it is an evening for two people to get to know each other.  I have never been part of a scene like you put up last night and what made it even worse, was that you were so drunk, you couldn’t even realize that you needed to apologize for your behavior.  I truly hope you can find some help to control this side of you.  No need to apologize, just don’t contact me again please.  

  1. After a first date – You want to end it because your date flirted with someone else.

As annoying and slightly painful as it was seeing you flirt with <blank>, I have to say “thank you”.  I initially thought you were charming, decent, and potential partner material.  I was already halfway sold over you.  I feel so grateful that you have shown your true colors before I had the chance to completely fall for you.  This is a much more acceptable brand of pain, than having to discover your ways once I had given myself to you.  There is no need for you to reply to this text, and do not contact me ever again for any reason whatsoever.

  1. After a first date – You have tried to end it, but they don’t take the hint.

I have tried to be as open and honest as I can.  I do not wish to continue our contact.  I really would not like to blacklist you on my phone, but that‘s what I’ll have to do if you contact me again.  I wish you the best.

  1. After multiple dates – You want to end it politely.

It has been a very interesting time getting to know you the last few weeks.  You certainly have a very interesting life going on.  I did however want to be open with you as to how I feel about moving forward.  I don’t think that there would be much more for us to discover about each other if we would continue going out.  It’s always nice and fun, but I am looking for something different at the moment, and I don’t think this will change at any point in the near future.  I hope you understand, and I want to wish you the very best. 

  1. After multiple dates – You want to end it nicely but stay friends.

I want to thank you for letting me get to know you the last couple of weeks.  It’s been fascinating to listen to all the things you have going on in your life.  At the same time, I also want to say thank you for listening to my stories and what’s on my mind.  It has been really nice to share this part of my life with you, and it is something that I would like to keep on doing as friends.  I feel our strength lies more in our friendship than in a potential relationship.  I hope you feel the same way.  Let me know if or when you would like to talk more about this one of these days. A big hug!        

  1. After multiple dates – You like the other person, but this is not the right time for you.

I would hate to get this text from anyone, but believe me, it’s a lot harder to write it.  I’ve really enjoyed our time together the last couple of weeks.  I feel there is something between us that feels good and real.  It could even be the ingredients for something bigger.  Unfortunately, this is not the right time.  I feel it is so unfair that I finally met this wonderful person, but my personal/work situation simply doesn’t align with a relationship at this time.  I am so torn.  I cannot ask you to understand, even though I hope so much that you do.  As soon as these dark clouds are gone, I will let you know.  I hope we can continue what we started someday.

  1. You are in a relationship – You don’t see a future together, but you want to end it in a heartfelt and genuine manner.

This is the hardest text I’ve ever had to write.  The size of it will not reflect the hours I’ve spent trying to come up with the words or the anguish I’ve had to process these last few weeks.  It’s as if parts of me tear off every time I think about our situation.  And what makes it so hard, is that I love you, and I will always love you.  But the love that we have, is not the love we both were looking for.  This is the love of friends, of companions, of those who will forever share a part of their lives with each other.  The love we are longing for is still out there, and neither of us should stop the other one from experiencing that.  If we feel it in this life, it must be because we need to find it in this life.  I know this will be a tremendously difficult and painful step for both of us, but it is one we both know we need to take.  This is the moment we set this new chapter of our lives in motion, as we look into each other’s eyes and say “Thank you for letting me be in your life for all this time.  I will never forget it.  I know now I must move on.”  

  1. You are in a relationship – You want to end it because your partner has cheated on you, or betrayed your trust.

I don’t need to hear the reasons why you did what you did.  The only thing that matters is that you did it.  You have broken something that can never be put back together again.  Everything we had you have thrown away, there is nothing left.  Including any words I would say to you on the matter.  Do not contact me ever again.    

  1. You are in a relationship – The other person wants to end it, but they can’t find the courage.  The uncertainty is driving you mad, so you want to put an end to this once and for all.

I know how much you are struggling to make the decision that you and I both know you will eventually need to make.  As painful as this whole situation is, and as strange as what I am going to say might sound…I am so grateful that you have struggled so much with this.  It tells me how much you have loved me, and how difficult it has been for you to accept the idea that our time is over.  So I will take this as your gift to me, and I will give you the gift of freedom.  You have given me all the good you could ever give me, and now it’s time for both of us to move on.  You will always be in my heart, I hope you can find a place for me in yours.  Love, always.  

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